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Paulinko

I've been a member of the Audiobus forum since the beginning. Contributing wiki entries about what I've learned here and in my musical exploration allows me to share that knowledge.

At one point the Audiobus website had a problem logging users in with Google so I had to create a new account @InfoCheck. About 1/5 of my posts were under Paulinko and the rest were InfoCheck. I’m only using Paulinko for the wiki because I can’t login to the wiki with my InfoCheck account. My other musical online based identity is the PLU Collective named in honor of a friend who passed away from cancer a couple of years ago.

My Mental Health

3:30 a.m. thoughts

Selfcare

• Seek support from healthcare providers.
• I'm not entitled to demand others conform to my perception of reality.
• Try to be aware of and thank those who help me.
• Monitor my health.
• Use coping skills.
• Acknowledge needs rather than deny, minimize or avoid them.
• Seek appropriate help as soon as I perceive my judgment is poor.
• Accept others have their own goals and expectations.
• People may not meet my expectations. I may not meet theirs.
• If what's going on is upsetting to me, I can go somewhere else.
• Let others take responsibility for their actions.
• Imposing my values on other people is a mistake on my part.
• Monitoring, encouraging, or advising people can be an act of selfishness.
• Live in harmnony with my values and value dissonance.
• Seek to share my perspectives in a considerate manner.
• Listen to and try to understand others.
• Try to learn from my experiences.

Information About Me

• I have experienced mental health symptoms for 40 years.
• Bipolar disorder is my primary mental health diagnosis.
• I hope people treat me based upon my behavior rather than my diagnosis.
• Relative to others, I experience very little emotional guilt.
• Do not seek to distress people. Being around me can be very stressful.

During Mania

• I'm demanding.
• Selfish
• Irrational
• Agressive
• An all around pain in the ass.
• People may take on too much responsibility for my behavior.
• My judgment is poor, I lose touch with how I effect and affect others.

During Depression

• I'll isolate and withdraw.

Positive Experiences

• I don't get bored.
• Mental health challenges are opportunities for improvement.
• Group therapy helps me understand the needs of others.
• Seeing myself reflected in others helps me to be more compassionate.
• Many people have been very kind to me over the years.
• I have benefitted from helping people.
• Horrific experiences can become some of the most humorous memories.

Thank you.

I appreciate the time you've taken to read about me.